How to Get Robbed When You Travel Over the Holidays

Want a robber to lighten your load? A nifty nipper nicking your nonsense while you navigate new nations? Then please consider the following advice.

1. Wear jeans and ballcaps. There is no better way to stand out in many nations (western nations included) like wearing jeans and ballcaps. Any clothing with an obvious company logo does the same trick.
2. Walk around with your nose in your map. By all means, do not plan your route and check it at lunch. Walk around with the look on your face that says “I have no idea where I am, and no idea where I’m going.”
3. Flash a wad of cash around when you pay for an item. Make sure you do not make the unfortunate decision to carry some in your wallet, and leave most in the safe at the hotel. Take it all with you, all the time, along with your actual passport. Don’t just take a copy of your passport.
4. Carry your important items together, in a back pocket or a backpack. Avoid the urge to put your papers and cash in a pouch around your neck, under your shirt. Easy access for pickpockets and backpack slicing knaves is a big factor in your chances of getting robbed when you travel over the holidays.
5. Take lots of “selfies” with your smartphone, then post the photos while you continue to walk down the street.
6. Use both earphones to listen to music while walking around. Go ahead.
7. Get into an unmarked cab. It just might be your vehicle to a more intense adventure than you anticipated.
8. Do not take the time to educate yourself on the main cultural aspects (dress, physical contact, eye contact, hand signals) of the places you are visiting. Using all 80% of your nonverbal communication to scream out “I’M A TOURIST!!” is a great way to attract the attention of the local ruffian.
9. If all else fails, lollygag in side streets after you leave the local pub/bar. Make sure you’ve had that extra eggnog, and maybe sing a little. If you cannot get robbed in broad daylight, try the night scene. You can usually find some action there.
So now you know how to get robbed when you travel over the holidays. Just don’t be lazy- the nifty nippers will do their part if you do yours. If you come back from your adventure safe, sound, and unmugged, don’t come crying to me.

To Adventure!

~Kate Nash
(931) 205-8994

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